Because it is my life’s mission to copy Maggie in every possible way, I had to get a pregnancy countdown ticker. Mine looks like this:
It’ll be at the very bottom of the main page of our site until I get tired of it.
Maybe some of you already know, and some of you have already guessed, but I am having a BABY. Yes, that’s right, I am GROWING A WHOLE SEPARATE PERSON INSIDE OF ME. From SCRATCH. It’s kind of blowing my mind. Here’s how it went down (conception excluded [obviously]):
1) Four weeks ago I stopped drinking Diet Coke because I thought I was getting an ulcer.
2) Three and a half weeks ago I thought my reproductive organs had shriveled and died, possibly crumbling into a black powder.
3) Three weeks ago I was getting really tired of having the stomach flu.
4) On January 23rd I finally figured out what was going on and took a pregnancy test. I broke the news to Blake by walking into our bedroom at 6:00am brandishing the test. “Um. Blake? This stick says we’re going to have a baby.”
5) Two weeks ago our immediate families found out through the postal system–a tiny slip of paper wrapped around a little plastic baby and stuffed into a small mailing tube with tissue paper. I was too shy to call everyone.
6) Last week we started referring to it as Las Plagas, which of course makes me The Infected.
7) This morning I had my first prenatal doctor’s appointment. Not only did I get to HEAR the HEARTBEAT, but I saw a little blob wiggling around on the ultrasound screen! It is confirmed: something is definitely in there.
You know what sounds good to me today?
What? I’m completely normal. No, really.
My stomach has developed a sudden and inexplicable (but nonetheless vehement) hatred for bile. I have tried explaining that bile and my stomach should just get along, that they could in fact work together in perfect harmony, but to no avail. Whenever my stomach detects the presence of its arch enemy, the offending bile must immediately be expelled. Alas.